all these non-stop coughing is killing me. having a slight sore throat. maybe not a sore throat, just feeling my throat swell like that. should be going for my blood test today. but didnt. too broke meaning no money. it's such a chore lor. going to the doc every couple of weeks, making an effort not to miss my medicine. that doc say i cant afford to miss my medication. ahhh, wth. who cares lor. bleks.

i fear every blood test. fear the needle might break, fear the nurse cant extract my blood pro enough etc. but everytime i just have to concede defeat under the needle cause i've nowhere to head already. i have no fucking choice. i fear the blood test results. i fear this. i fear that.

i hate to grow up. i hate to know so much. i hate having the need to supress all my emotions in this world. i hate to see people who fake their way through every single thing. 明明不甘心, 可是还装模作样, 装着很开心. sometimes i really dont understand every thing that is happening around. is it me or is it me? that now my thoughts are so confused. i dont know who to trust. cause it's like everyone i know is so fake.

a few more days to consider whether to take the blood test anot. fucking shit. so ex, then must wait so long. darn.

anyway, i've such a sweet bf. he wouldnt let me die before him. aint he sweet? =D but ya, even if i did die before him, i wouldnt have much regrets lah. cause at least i've got my chance to know him. =) ermmm, maybe a few like just not being able to visit ht cause of circumstances.

my sis is ktv-ing. what a miracle!

fei fei lie flat on the floor yest. super cute. =D but she got scolded for chasing mochi. haha.

i should have let him stay at my house today. i'm regretting. =(

I LOVE YOU!

bad cough. so bad that i feel like vomiting after coughin. bad omen. =(

i fear business environment's presentation. cause i feel so unprepared. haiz.

i fear ecpj. cause i feel so un-done. haiz haiz.

i hate my life now lah. flooded with projects and worst is my com cant do much. arghhH!

but well, i went to my gong gong's house. cooked baked rice. aint i good? wahaha.

darling i love you. i love you my darling. =D

haha. after today, i feel that my english is not bad. tsk tsk. and his chinese is not 'bad' either. wahahah. went out with mr sss to get my formal wear. met at bout 3 plus. and yay~ my precious phone is back to me again. *muacks my phone~ wahaha.

went to town. bought curry puff for my gong gong bf. then went in search for something nice and formal. haha. went inside gucci. and wow, after looking at the price tags and the design of the clothes, we think that it's not really worth it. a grey polo tee without anything cost bout 100over dollars? you're out of your mind if you do that! haha.

then we went to far east. tube dress are just so cute~ anyway i bought my formal at osmose. hope i will like it for quite some time. haha.

getting poorer. ate at the cahaya restaurant. not bad ar the food. very filling. then walked around again. wanted to play arcade at lucky plaza but lke no nice games lor. blehs.

then we went in search of a specs which he plan to buy. haha. i'll snatch it from you if you buy it! haha. =D

walked to ps, arcaded and went home. so many people lor. alot of them were the audience after watching the national day preview. so god right?anyway, to sum up, i almost fell a few times. darn! =(

thanks for keeping me company today. i appreciate it. =D

WE SAW A LESBIAN COUPLE KISSING ON THE TRAIN! not that i'm bias or anything. but it's not commonly seen in singapore. some more both had long hair and is malay somemore. haha. it's like out of their religion. weird weird. haha.

my dad keeps asking my sis to give the buns away. sad lah. i cant imagine my buns gone. cant imagine i going home looking for mochi/flip/fei/berry and finding them not there already. she showed me a bit of mochi head's lying on berry's. so cute lor. like last time. ahhh. cute lah~ haha. i still cant finish cutting flip's nails. so damn hard lor. haha. flip looks like a polar bear. really. =D

i dont like it when people say that being attached is the most wonderful thing on earth cause at least there's soneone who love you once before even if the relationship turned sour etc. i dont lie it when people say that being attached is the most beautiful thing on earth cause you dont see the behinds, the insides of these relationships.

i dont understand why. i really dont. maybe my frequency is just different from others. so different that i cant link to what they say now.

there's pros and cons in everything. nothing is perfect. not me, not you, not anyone, not everything. so think of the good things that has happened to you instead of dwelling on stuffs that wouldnt change no matter how much you or how many solutions you've thought.

there's someone who loves you out there. it just maybe she/him havent appeared in your life or you've never noticed her although she/he's around you all the time.





hew's anniversary is coming. i was thinkin of visiting her. but life's so busy now. and i dont have the slightest idea how to go there. I NEED HELP!!!!

it's weird playing neopets that is in chinese language. haha. so weird can? haha.



oh my god. i really think something is wrong with me again. i never get full ever since i've been on my medication which i cant skip even if it's one time. if not my condition might worsen i guess. haha. and now, i'm drowning myself with water. i feel so dehydated. so very dehydrated. at thise rate, iu'm gona finish every single drop of water in my house. haha. i'm just scared that i will drown. haha.

scott wants me to say this : scott is cute, scott is smart or something.

so now that i've say it, scott!!! what do you have for me? haha. =D a million pratas k? tsk tsk. =)

haha. i feel funny. this blogger that i'm using uses chinese language. wierd sia. haha. and the show i'm watching now is wierder lor. the person drinks urine. gross lor. still use it as eye drop. *pukes* hair stand sia. haha. but he seems damn healthier for his age. he even advices people to drink it to cure certain sickness. also, he says that he'd a pair of new grown rib bones. eyer. wierd lah. haha.

anyway i skip business communication today. haha. it feels stupid going to school for only two hours then you head back home. so after dbms, i went to my stupid boyfriend's house. and the benefit of going there? i get a laptop in return. not his but his friend's. tsk tsk.

ate at his house. i still prefer sweet and sour pork. haha.

went home after awhile and am happily using the laptop now since he's going to work. haha. i really hate guys who stare lor. damn you people. what's so nice to stare lor. bastard. blehs.

weelong came and lame with me cause of my nick. haha. lame chop lor him. haha.

chatted with scott. ha.

chatted with julian. haha.

chatted with jianyuan. hahaha.

chatted with my boyfriend? nope. cause he's working. =(

humans are shallow. very shallow. they only look at the surface of things and never look in depths. but unfortunately, and sad to say, everyone makes this mistake. even me. even the president. even a scholar. even a genius.

he's so good at hiding his feelings. he hides it so well. till now then i realise what he wants.

it's sad. so sad.

HUNGRY, HUNGRY, HUNGRY!!!

and it's sometimes irritating when you dont notice how fast time flies. boo~ anyway i'm a pro using typewriter now. haha. read through some of my previous posts. and i realise my mind isnt at a clear state now. so many weird words i use to substitute another word without realising it. haha.

k ciaos. i'm too hungry to continue on. i can hear my stomach growling. haha. tatas!

it's a fact that i get cut off and ps-ed. it's not something that i think. i tried talking. but what kind of response do i get? no response or i dont know. so thank you for the damn response that i get.

having heart pains. super suffering lor. vomited during business comm lesson. super unwell. been feeling like that for so many fucking days. then i was shocked that kitty ask me to help her copy answer when i'm feeling sick. but nevertheless, i copied for her lah.

went to make my soa. and all you do was to piss me off. blehs. but ya, i still love my bf.

saw them at fj. was thinking of sitting with them. but on second thoughts, we walked off. since even if we sat down there wouldnt be any conversation between us, no care, then no point. ate and went to find scott at com lab. kinda shocked when i see may there. i just wanna pass scott my card to tap then she come shoot me. wtf lor. did i step on your tail or what? so much that you have to give me this kind of fucking attitude. i'm not gonna seduce william or steal him away from you or whatever shit. i've my very own boyfriend and i dont need another one. and i dont need you to make up a story of me. but say whatever crap you want to whoever you want. cause i dont and i wouldnt give a shit to you since you're gonna treat me like that. believe in everything she say if you want. sorry but i dont like you. you're just like another tan meifong.

went to his house after that. played with his cat. haha. so cute. but i'm scared of her. haha. then his siblings came home and *tada* chaos. haha. played ps2 awhile. played wwe. haha. wow. hiong ar. tsk tsk. we fought. physically too. haha. i won. for once. haha.

then went to his room. thought of sleeping. and then, *tada* his sis appeared. then she start talking to me. then *tada* one of his bro appeared then *tada*, another appeared. haha. so funny lor. then keep talking to me, and playing with my phone, and keep trying to take my picture and i've no chances of sleeping at all. on the other hand, he was happily sleeping. so pig lor.

he brought me to his mom's room which has a big mattress on the floor. and suddenly, he slam me down. how irritating can your very own boyfriend be? haha. then his bro fought with him, and another joined in. then come his sis. haha. funny lah.

tried carrying his sis after the fighting session. so heavy lor. and i've got no carrying technics. haha. threaten to flush her down the toilet bowl. =x carry her to my bf and he swing her upside down. haha. he let her go after awhile lah. and after awhile, i threaten to flush her down the toilet bowl again. i forgot why this time. tsk tsk. then his bro say toilet bowl too small for the sis. must find somewhere bigger. haha. she was the second person i ever carried. the first was a baby whose mom pass to me when she was rushing to the toilet. the point of time when yilan came in time to help me out. and ziqi keep laughing. i hope you remember this incident, sly. haha.

left after awhile. ate at the coffee shop near my house. and damn! i'm hungry again. arghh~!

i'm so tired. exhausted.

skip lessons today to go see doc. super unwell. luckily i've my bf to acc me. if not having friends like that, i think i'll die halfway. not abit of care lor. whatever. casey followed also. haha. funny.

went to eat after registration. didnt really have the appetite but just ate cause i havent eaten the whole day. then went back to the clinic only to find it to be their break time. so we went to safra happily thinking that i didnt miss my queue number. but i did. anyway we played arcade lor. funny ar. tried to link time crisis together. but cant. idiot. cheena goods. blehs.

went back to the clinic. saw xinghua and samuel. haha. walked to the second level and waited. then ask the 'missy'. then she say must re-register. sian lor. anyway getting the queue num, we decied to ask the doc if we could cut the queue cause i needa rush back for ica. after talking to the doc, she finally agreed to let me go first. wahaha. after the normal checks, she ask me to go for a blood test, liver test etc. fuck lor. just come to see doc then in the end need to have so much test.

after taking all those tests, went back to the doc. and she told me that my previous blood test results were bad. but this time round it was better. I HATE DOC WHO LIE!! arghhh~ so i'm so happy to go back to the clinic after two weeks and one month later. woah. song ar. so many blood test to take. =(

rushed back to sch after taking my med. took my ica test. hopefully i'll pass this time round. stayed in school for awhile then went to eat at yishun. hehe. food's nice. but ever since dont know when, i became hungry damn quickly. i felt hungry when i reached home after a heavy meal. bad bad bad.

if you only start caring for someone only now after knowing them for a period of time, dont you think it's abit too late? dont you think you hsould already start caring for a person right from the beginning/moment you know them? i dont get it. i really dont.

it's sad that you have to suppress most of your emotions for more than half of your lifetime be it good or bad, happy or sad.

sis told me something bout her friend. her friend usually dont have appetite and puke some white stuff out. gross. but that's part of your life having thyroids. then she say her friend's going for operation or something. but i dont know it's for thyroids or whatever thingy. bahs!

maybe i'll die of thyroids, or stress, or being knocked down by a car, or simply just die of exhaustion. i slept only at bout4 plus 5 yesterday. and i'm so god damn tired now. blehs. i wanna sleep!!!!!

my boyfriend is a bitch! haha. =D

it's weird. very weird. sometimes i wonder if you have any motive behind that mask of yours.

too many masks. too hard to differentiate. too not understanding. too much misinterpretations. too much stuffs. too much to do. too much to say but too little that could be said. you're simply too much. maybe i should just write every single fucking thing down.

AHHHH. fuck lah.

i'm gonna make your eyes blind! HAHA.






i heard that sean rebonded his hair!! my godness. they were planning a class outing. haha. so funny lor. all those chats. make me miss my class only. miss my class so much. all those crazy times we had. going crazy after guys. *drools. haha.

then, there were the bowlings and those emo emo times. haha.

I GOT MY MRS FIELDS COOKIES from my student. i tell you huh, it's so damn nice lor. but try not to finish it at one go. it's too sweet to tahan. lol.

i'm so hungry now. hungry hungry. and MMS left me to starve while he eat himself. blehs. such mean friend. hahas.

fei fei keeps trying to change her postion. funny lor. so fat. haha. but cute lah. i love them. i love my boyfriend cause he's so bitchy. like me. tsk tsk.

anyway watched guess3. then got this one guy who looks damn like julian. omg. julian has so many look alikes lor. haha.

i wanna get a drink now. so wanna get a drink. too bad there's only tiger and martell at my house. haha.

i miss my bitchy boyfriend now. and i'm gonna go pray soon. i almost fell down a couple of times and almost got hit by a door. damn suay lah. i dont know what the fuck is happening to me lah. so so suay. haha.

i guess i've lost all my luck. haha.

i think my health is.... haha. being having a bad headache recently after so long. i cant sleep well, having a couple of chest pain, having no appetite, breathing problems where i choke when breathing, and a cough that never did get better. suckit lah. all these bad things always happen to me. =(

i feel only semi-conscious at most time. i think i'm dying. maybe my thyroids is killing me. haha.

miss me mr you. =D

i love my mochi so much. and flip. so cute lor. i wonder why they stick their butt high up in the air. HAHA.

you're such a sucker. if i try breaking down the wall, yet you keep building it up, then wth you want me to do. if that how you want to treat me, then fine. when i try talking and you shut me off. fuck lor.

first you ps me in any and every way. you dont inform when you're not going to lect and you've planned it with her the day before. you dont share anything, you dont ask. of coz you dont feel ps-ed cause you're the one ps-ing. then, you say i bo chup when you all compromise. when did you all compromise in the first place? by leaving me out in every single thing is compromising? then, now, you dont even help to get my notes. in the first place, when irene ask you, you said my lect notes were with you. and then when class end and i ask again, you say you never take my notes. so please explain what you mean.

then, you say i dont voice out what i'm thinking. if i voice anything out, do you think there'll be a change in anything? i dont say out cause if i say anything right in your face, we'll sure go into a quarrel. but well, everyone sides u all. so whatever i say doesnt matter.

have you even thought of why i dont talk? because i simply get cut off, or worse, get shut off.

of cause you can be cheery everyday. you have a perfectly close family. you can talk to your mom or dad or your siblings bout stuff. but i dont have a perfect family. i need to worry bout school fees and stuffs. i dont have my mom to talk to. i dont have my mom to go out with. i cant talk to my dad or sis since they're so busy.

and i seriously hate back stabbers/liars or whatever you call them. firsly you tell me go balcony cause your sis say it was nice. and when i tell you i went balcony, you tell me eee balcony nice meh? aint you such a liar? then, another time, you left the lect cause you say you were hungry. and then, you told the others you left the lect because i didnt talk to you. wth is wrong with you. i did talk to you but all you did was read the stupid book. and now you turn around accusing me? fuck off bitch.

i wrote all this in my blog not to offend. but to let you know how i feel. but obviously you dont take it the same way i do. my blog is somewhere to voice out my thoughts cause i did get a chance to voice it out. so rebut me if you want to.

i'm so deprived of mommy's love. bahs. i think i'm seriously sick. sick of being sick, sick of thyroids, sick of the things you do, sick of my life.

when i see lim soo kim, i think of my dad and the past every time. sometimes i just want a happy. i rather be poor and have my mom and dad with me, than having friends in their place. cause no matter what friends might betray and backstab you.

you are such a sucker.

yesterday's post was so not complete. why? cause i was chase out of the room by my sis. such bitchy sis i've got. just like my boyfriend. haha.


anyway yest brought my stupid gong gong boyfriend to my uncle's place since my sis went shopping and i didnt want to go there alone. my stupid boyfriend didnt want to go in at first but in the end, he still have to go in. haha. so many kaypoh people lor. my cousin drove us to my uncle's house cause i really had no idea what bus to take. haha.


my aunt came out specially to ask my stupid boyfriend in saying if not she will ask the others to drag him in. HAHA. went in and wish my uncle happy birthday. then, my aunt forced us to eat. haha. but nice food lah. =D so flooded us with food i.e. curry chicken, bee hoon, chicken wing, duck etc. so so much lor. haha.


then, sat there awhile and there comes my good news. my new fan!!! i dont know what i should call him cause he is one generation younger than me. so cute lor. he offered to help me throw away the rubbish. HAHA. so cute. and the questions he asked was cuter. i asked him to take picture with me. and his dad offered to frame up our picture. haha. 'are you two married?' lols.


went to IMM and shopped around. ate at KFC. not very nice. the mayo still must pay 50cents lor. budget lah kfc. haha. went to some shop which sells cheap cheap stuff!! haha. had quite fun shopping around.


time crisis 4 seems very fun. like exciting like that. also abit like house of dead 4.


ITALY WON WORLD CUP! see this scott? tsk tsk.

niahahaks. quite sometime never blog already. got lots of updates. tsk tsk.

firstly, is the dogs that were brought to school by the police force.

the dog which doesnt want to be taken.
the back view.

the butt.

finally the face! haha.

and also, the guy who was holding on to the dog. i took a pic of him cause my boyfriend say he very poor thing as everyone only took the pic of the dogs. lol. =D i said something stupid to him. 'can you hug the dog and i take photo?' and obviously the answer was 'cannot lah.' then he laughed. duhh. haha.



some dogs i saw at a pet shop. super cute! cuter than scott's dog~ wahaha. =) the dog which was sold.


the dog which likes to self entertain.

smiling dog~


the girl with coloured hair.

the dress which i like. the little black dress.

tube dress~ love it. but it was too big. =(



went to celebrate his birthday on the 7th with his friends. went to so many places. went to a hong kong cafe at marina square. not bad lah the food. but dont really like. haha. look closely. you can see a statue at the back. haha.

walked around after that. then we went to balcony. the drinks were nice. but the surrounding was a bit stuffy. proof:
the serviette. ahh, i dont know how to spell.

the menu.

my drink. and my cherry....is over here! haha.
his tequila.the bar.

went to eat earthquake after that. so nice lor. haha. one of his friends started talking bout his army experiences. so funny. haha. played pool and went to coffee club for some snaks while waiting for the first train home.

the remaining calamari.


spot the friends. haha.


us together.
while sitting on the first train home. i saw my aunt. such coincidence lor. haha.

8th july. went to compass point. brought his siblings out to buy their presents. haha. so cute lor them.
then, went to his house. see his FAT cat? like owner like pets! WHAHAH.
cat watching tv.

cat sleeping.
all those sleeping positions. haha. aint it human? haha.

his bro carrying his cat.
one of his bro.

the other one.

his sister.
my cute boyfriend. haha.

us again.

my fans. haha.

us with my fan. haha.

aites, go liao. anyway today is my uncle's birthday. so much food~ haha. =))

i hope i can get drunk. i mean really. be so so so so drunk. then maybe i can forget bout every bitchy stuffs. and also, i havent been drank before. so i shall try it next time. tsk tsk.

i'm counting on germany to get me my money. haha.

i shall be back. lots more things to write about.

i'm bored! my cough is so not getting well. fuck lor. fucking bitch. liars are fuckers lah. blehs. i so hate liars. screw you!!!!!!!!!!

i cant believe that mrs fraser just laughed at someone's flaws. wth. but whatever. different culture different thinking.

tried doing my project at fiona's house. did abit only lah. not much done. =x haha. anyway, met up my gong gong. saw mr loh on the way there. had a hard time confirming if it was him. he was busy reading the papers ar. so shall ask him next time. spot him! tsk tsk.

my bandana.

my gong gong and chicken little. he loves it. =x wahahah.

went shopping awhile. had a tiff cause he was busy looking at a girl some girl doing her manicure as he claims. blehs. bullshit! =P

mmm, i love strawberry~ love strawberries, love strawberry yogurt, love strawberry butter, love strawberry butter. ahh. i just love strawberries!!!!

today was quite fun. though i didnt get to go to sentosa, but i went out with tho kai ying and ng ziqi. yay~!

shall update some pics which i didnt get to update the other times.

our winnings at PS. =))

our pics.

my cute boyfriend~ spastic.


my birthday gift from my class.

and the day where i was really red and sick. and how horrible can your own sister be right? happily take pictures of me when i'm god damn sick. haha.


my birthday. all pictures of us and no others. wahahaha. =D

at mos burger. feeling sick.

big windddddddddd~

when the wind stops.

acting cute.

i love such boyfriends. one who is willing to act with me. =D


trying to take nice photos.

acting cute again. so cute. tsk tsk.

look awayyyy~

woooo~ luminous leh!

wow!



food.

alot of food.



can you see a smiley? use your imagination! =x (hint: tomato = eyes, lemon = mouth)






there was one guy enjoying his meal.



but suddenly some customers came in and make a fuss in the restaurant.

'tmd. wtf you talking about lor. talk so loud in the restaurant for me. i got knife hor. dont make me kill you.'




'walao. buay tahan. give you warning liao you still dont want shut up. you're gonna get it from me. you make me do this.'



* fights with the customers with his knife *




' phew. finally quieten down liao. but no mood liao lah. fuck!'

- this story is purely made up. any characters similar to anyone dead or alive, it's purely coincidence. -




and this is my boyfriend. i love him so much. =D